Updated: Sep 30, 2018
To have lived through fundamentally rough and sticky experiences this year alone has taught me so many things that I had no idea about myself. I can only state how exceptionally grateful I am for the challenges that I had endured this year because it made me realise how much I sorely miss my late parents. Okay, let us get into it a little more;
See, each year in September, 3rd when the clock strikes 12 o’clock, midnight reminding me that I am a year older, the very first thing(s) that comes to mind are my late parents. Before I could think to myself about what or just how this exact day will go, in other words, how I’ll ‘celebrate’ my birthday, my brain automatically switches to Dipuo and Daniel mode, thinking… ‘but, you guys should be here with me’. So, I had thought that it’d make me feel much better and closer to them if I got a tattoo of both their names(merged) right next to my heart… so, I went right ahead and got it done!
Relax, this is not a sob story or some sort of pity party blog. NOT AT ALL! Do trust me when I say, I’m not going to sit here and say that even after 14 years since they’ve been gone I have ‘accepted’ that reality, ‘cause I would be lying. One cannot completely accept something like that, you only learn to live with it. I should say, it does get better with time because I have learnt that things happen for a reason even if those reasons are vague or not understood fully.
But, I think that I can respectfully say that this year was an actual eye-opener, because ’25 years later’
I have learnt the importance of; being happy with myself, lessen being extensively hard on myself, taking precautions before attempting to do anything at all, practicing self-love daily because that is one of the sharper tools to use on yourself ‘til the day that you die, being independent, checking in on family and friends, eating healthier, readingbooks-readingbooks-readingbooks, making time for the night sky, being kind to people as it is the most rewarding act you can ever give out, breathing; clearing my head and then inhaling and exhaling because it helps me to relax and push on with the day, THINKING ABOUT AND THEN PLOTTING MY LONG-TERM FUTURE GOALS, working tirelessly hard at daily plans… big or small, mellow, wearing my flawed features proudly, relying on myself more, motivating myself more, reaching out even farther than expected, being mindful of my surroundings, REMAINING POSITIVE EVEN WHEN DISAPPOINTED, being thankful, patient, strong, a good listener and optimist.
There are times where I feel that I need to talk to Dipuo or Daniel about some things that I fail to understand, then I remember that, they are silently and safely tucked into my heart. But, through all the good times and hardships, I am a little wiser and thankful for the life that I was given and will use the limited time that I am still to walk this earth to try to always do good, learn from all the mistakes that I am yet to make and especially make all moments count.
Happy birthday, my darling, Siggy. I love you.