The truth of the matter is that; everyone only looks out for themselves, nobody really gives a toss for the next person. In many ways, it’s wrong, but then again, most’d argue that it can also be necessary because people can overstep the line and take advantage of your kind nature…without feeling guilty one bit.
Do not get me wrong, I’m not writing to evoke negativity here, but to make you and I aware of some of our perilous attributes to others, even though we may perceive it as a ‘shield’ to protect our emotions and overall wellness. We’d think that by performing such, we’re better off without unnecessary drama, the informal obligation to explain ourselves, or uncomfortable situations where had you just said ‘no’ you would not have been involved in any way…in simple terms, ‘having to deal’.
I think that as you grow and mature, knowing what to allow and what not is one of the finest qualities you can ever possess, nobody can persuade you easily, you know that what you do next may seem harmful to another, but harmonious to you... however, you may experience a sharp emotion piercing through because you think to yourself “why did I just turn him/her down?”. When that happens and you know that it wasn’t out of maliciousness, but pure caution that, that whatever had you agreed upon, might have come back to bite you where it hurts…so, to be kind begins with you being kind to yourself first, after all, it’s genuinely how it should be.
And so, I would dearly love to know; have you ever been selfish with yourself, your time, your education, peers, work, or other (there’s tons more) that you felt was better that way for YOU?
It’s impossible to get stronger and independent if you insist on being a complete ‘yes’ person because you want to belong or be liked, read this out loud to yourself; IT IS RUBBISH!!! And oh, trust me, you will lose many as you go along, and definitely inspire some to ‘look out for themselves’.
So understand this, you are not treating anyone badly nor are you toxic in any way when you decide to put yourself first more than others.